Helpful tips to keep in mind as you go into this silent retreat
Welcome!
So glad you are taking the time to turn inward. We hope that the retreat will allow you to let go of the external world, drop in, and truly rest. This requires some preparation on your part. Here are some suggested guidelines for arranging your space, setting boundaries, and organizing your food.
We have also provided a suggested rhythm for your retreat. If you are able, we encourage you to stay with the flow that we have provided.
Creating Sacred Space
The beauty of an online virtual retreat is that you can drop into silence without leaving your home. However, it is important that you create sacred space, ideally away from family (unless you are retreating together). If your home is set up in a way that does not allow you to retreat, consider finding space outside of your home.
It is important that the atmosphere be peaceful as this will be your holding container. If you choose space outside of your home, see if you can find an option that has quiet outdoor space as well.
Once you have established the best place to retreat, make sure that it is is as uncluttered as possible, and clean. As the retreat begins, you might want to use palo santo or sage to cleanse and purify the room, as well as your own body.
Relationship to Media
We encourage you to find a way to unplug from your phone and computer. These distractions pull us back out into the world and will interrupt a deeper dive. If possible, consider leaving your devices in a place where they aren’t accessible.
Staying in Silence/Relationship to Chant
We also recommend that you truly stay in silence. One of the things you may notice after extended silence is how much energy you expend through talking. Having an opportunity to not speak restores us at a cellular level. If you do need to communicate with someone, we would encourage you to write a note instead of speaking.
There will be chanting during the retreat. If you feel called to do so, we encourage you to join in. Chanting sacred sound will not interrupt your inner work. You can also chant silently within yourself, or just listen.
Food
It is important to organize your food ahead of time. Towards this end, please buy all of your supplies before the retreat begins.
If you were to retreat at Antara, Dillon would cook for you in a way that supports inner work. We would like to help you do the same at home.
One of the secrets of nourishing retreat food is the use of mantra or sacred sound chanted silently while preparing it. This is a lovely practice, and if you do not already do so, you may wish to experiment with this while on retreat.
When it is time to eat, we encourage you to do so in a mindful way. Before eating, offer gratitude for the food provided, make sure that you actually taste your food, chew slowly, and be as present in your body as possible.
Taking a Seat
It is important that you are mindful about the way that you sit during retreat. You want your seat to support an inner state that is both relaxed and alert. If you aren’t comfortable, you won’t be able to relax. If your body position is too relaxed, you will tend to become dull or sleepy. So find a seat that is both comfortable and also encourages you to remain alert. We might want to experiment with this prior to the retreat.
If you would like to sit on the floor, a cushion will help you sit with a straight spine, which is important, as this allows the energy to move up and down your spine freely. It will also help the circulation in your legs. If your hips are tight, you can support each knee with pillows.
It is also perfectly fine to meditate in a straight back chair. If you do so, uncross your arms and legs, and, again, hold your spine upright. Use pillows to support you if necessary.
If Difficult Stuff Comes Up
When we engage spiritual practice with the intention of connecting to the silence within, the first thing that we usually encounter is our busy minds, active emotions, and the distractions of our physical body. But we as begin to quiet down ~ and this can take some time ~ we engage a deeper dimension within ourselves. Behind all of the activity of the ego or mind is a vast, infinite, timeless field that we might call Pure Awareness or Pure Consciousness. Indeed, this vast spaciousness is the backdrop of our very existence. Although this dimension of our inner lives is always present, much of the time it is obscured by our focus on the external world, the noise of our thoughts and emotions, and our obsession with the past and the future.
The practices that we will do together are tools for quieting the mind and coming more fully into the present, which allows us to connect more deeply to the substratum beyond the mind. This substratum is known by many names ~ the True Self, the Essential Self, Supreme Consciousness, love, Great Spirit, God, Source, Divinity, light, or that which cannot be named.
By engaging practices that touch into the core of our being, we have to pass through the gate of our ego or mind. The ego consists of everything that we identify with, habits of mind, attention, and emotion, anything from the past that has not been resolved, our desires and aversions, un-metabolized material from our ancestors, cultural imprints, and (for those that assume that the soul reincarnates) imprints from previous lives that have been brought into this one. For most of us, our minds (or egos) are dense. Over time, as we engage spiritual practice, the ego thins out, and the light within gains prominence in our daily lives.
When we touch into the True Self or the Divinity within us through spiritual practice we eventually experience a greater sense of peace, contentment, inner knowing or guidance, love, awe, and gratitude. We are often humbled ~ and sometimes frightened ~ by the vastness that we find within. We stabilize a relationship to a place within where we can actually rest.
But spiritual practice also creates a kind of centrifugal force within the ego, spinning out those aspects of our identity which would like to be addressed, and ultimately let go. The body/mind/spirit knows exactly how to do this. We don’t have to intellectually guide this process. We do, however, have to pay attention, noticing what is arising.
Silence often sheds lights on those aspects of ourselves which are ready to be purified and released. The exact layer that needs to move will reveal itself to us with uncanny precision. This is a reflection of the wisdom of our body/mind/spirit. Our work is to simply stay present for whatever arises, aligning our attention with the part of us that witnesses our experience.
Trauma
Sometimes unresolved trauma surfaces when we go within. Trauma is not defined by the event, but rather refers to something that has happened to us that we were unable to metabolize. What may be traumatic to one person may not traumatize another. As you quiet down, if you hit a layer of trauma, you may be ready to do the work of metabolization.
However, trauma work is best done with the support of someone who knows how to guide the healing process in a gentle way. We do not have to re-experience what has happened to us in order to heal. In fact, this is contraindicated, as it often leads to re-traumatization.
Trauma may reveal itself to you through overwhelming and intrusive thoughts, extreme anxiety, the feeling of the onset of a panic attack, sweating, body numbness, or nausea. If you sense that trauma is surfacing, please stop your practice and turn to those things that will help you ground (see below). We would then encourage you to find a therapist specifically trained in somatic trauma work to help you heal.
Suggestions for Grounding
~Open your eyes and reorient yourself to the present.
~If you are having intrusive memory, remind yourself that what you are remembering happened in the past and that you are here, in the present, in safe space.
~Use your olfactory sense to ground, such as an essential oil that is soothing and pleasant or the smell of a fruit, flower, or plant that you like.
~Place one hand on your heart and the other on your forehead and slow down your breath, equalizing the inhale with the exhale (this will help to take you out of a flight/fight response and rebalance your autonomic nervous system). You can then shift the hand that is on your forehead, to your belly, continuing to equalize the breath.
~Epsom salt baths (either a foot bath or a full body bath) are wonderfully grounding and can be used daily during your retreat.
~Walk barefoot on the earth.
~Take a walk outside.
~Massage your feet with sesame oil (which is particularly grounding, but other oils are also fine).
Open Eye Meditation
If you are struggling with the surfacing of trauma but would like to continue the retreat, you might want to practice open eye meditation. This will help to keep you in the present moment.
Open eye meditation begins with taking a seat , lowering your eyes and looking at the ground in front of you, and softening your gaze so that you are relaxing into your peripheral vision. Continue to focus on your breath as you gaze softly at the ground in front of you.
I have also provided a separate video that can be used any time during the retreat as a tool to help you ground.
Coming out of Retreat/Integration
The period of integration following a retreat is extremely important. If we shift back into our lives too quickly, some of what has been gained will dissipate. Although we assume you will come out of silence at the end of retreat, we encourage you to stay quiet and inward for a day or so. Try to continue with a meditation practice at least once a day for the week following retreat. If you do not have a daily practice, this is a nice moment to begin one.
If you are inclined to share your experience with someone close to you, perhaps wait a few days to do so. Retreats begin before the retreat starts, and extend into time after the retreat ends. It is important to respect this, and to not try to language your process too soon. However, if you feel inclined to write or draw, please do so.
Things to Have on Hand in Advance of the Retreat
~epsom salts
~organic sesame oil for feet
~palo santo or sage
~water bottle
~an essential oil that you find pleasant and soothing
~a set up for sitting (meditation cushion)
Chants
Day One
1. Ganesha Sharanam, Sharanam Ganesha (2x)
Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha
(removal of obstacles)
2. Om Nama Shivaya
(I bow to the supreme reality of the inner Self)
3. Jai Ma, Jai Jai Ma
4. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Ram, Hare Ram
Ram Ram, Hare Hare
5. Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
(May all beings be peaceful and happy)
Day Two
1. Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevya
(I bow down to the Divinity that resides in my heart)
2. Jai Ma
3. Sri Ram, Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram
Sita Ram, Sita Ram, Sita Ram, Sita Ram
4. Om Shanti, Om Shanti
Nama Shivaya, Om Shanti